Monday, December 19, 2011

Reading Energy

Everyone has the ability to receive messages from beyond.

As we know energy is not created and does not  die it just changes form, so it is easy to believe that when we pass the energy stays around in one way or another.  

I deal in energy, I feel things. I can pickup imprints that have been left on things by others. Sometimes I can determine the sex of the imprinter and sometimes I pick up a name as in one experiment I was asked to do I was given a bracelet by a stranger and asked immediately “Who is Rita?”  Rita, I was told was the person who gave this woman the bracelet and she had passed.  When I held the woman’s hand I saw a young man with a vibrant smile, I explained the smile to her, she told me it was her son who had passed and then showed me a picture in which I saw the same vibrant smile.  
Sometimes I am drawn to something like a piece of jewelry and I comment on it and am told it was a loved ones.  Am I a medium, not by trade,  but I believe I pickup information a lot.  I also have vivid dreams in which I am “visited” by those who have passed.  I am known for my weird Tammy moments or feelings. One friend in particular if we lose touch I know when she needs me in her life or when she is struggling or when something good or bad happens. 

Years ago a friend of mine passed in a violent accident.  I was driving on a road parallel to where it occurred and felt the sorrow.  I did not know until later that day that she was gone, but I never for one minute forget the feeling I felt that day at the exact time of her accident.  Energy is a powerful thing. 
When I do Reiki I get messages in relation to a person’s physical or emotional state. Sometimes I know when a lost loved one enters the room. If they do.  On one occasion I felt someone was behind me and helping to guide my hands but my throat became extremely phlegmy feeling and I had to keep clearing it.  I received the feeling that I had to tell this woman she is never alone.  When I told her I felt someone was with us and there was something about the throat I needed to mention, she knew instantly who was there as he husband had passed from esophageal cancer.  

These things happen, coincidence? I do not think so, I believe in my ability to feel and read energy. 
Think of people as light bodies and it may be easier to understand what we are really made of.  We are made of energy and other particles.  These materials and other things blend to create out 3 dimensional form but imagine just light bodies.  Light shaped into that of a human or other living thing even rock,
Take away the solid form and you are left with a light body.  Rocks have light bodies just as people and animals do.  

Now imagine you cannot speak and all you have to express yourself is the light body.  The expression would come from the vibration, color, and movements of the light body.  This is what I work with in an energy session.  

I actually saw my light body recently and may be how I came up with this description.  I was doing Reiki on a horse from about 50 yards away and as I was working on him I saw my light body standing next to him and placing its hands where I was directing the energy. It was a surreal experience.  
Many people can see light bodies in fact with proper training everyone can. A light body would be similar to seeing someone’s aura. There is no magic in seeing auras, it is a visual training that anyone can do.  I see auras not colors ,all the time but the aura.  I feel the colors

I have never really understood how I do what I do, I just know I do it and I pretty much always have.  As a child I used to see light bodies in the dark, so I always needed a light on.  My room was across from the bathroom and my bed set up to see right across into it (I know bad Feng Shui) I used to call them toilet people because they would come out of the toilet and turn down the hall to disappear into the living room wall. Everyone thought I was nuts, I even did until in a class a famous medium talked about the exact same type of presence in her room at night.  They are exactly what I was describing about, what I now call light bodies. Except it is not just of the dead we are all light bodies.  
I really am not sure if this should be part of the book I am writing or just a blog post, maybe it is both, but I felt compelled to share it with you all so enjoy!

Wishing you the best this holiday season!

Bright Blessings!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Reiki and Depression

I recently did a survey and one of the top questions was how Energy work can help with depression and/or anxiety.

As many of you may already know I have had a history of anxiety and depression as well as being clean and sober for just shy of 19 years. (oh man I thought it was 20 this year, would have added more in dramatic effect)

I spent a lot of time in therapy talking about all the things that happened to me, year after year.  I never seemed to get any tools to get over the hardships, just sat there rehashing over and over.  Telling the story mechanically.  Therapy is great if you have a goal or something to work on, otherwise you are just there telling the same story over and over with no view of how to change things . I finally was able to graduate therapy years ago after meeting with a woman who wanted me to see my power and stop telling my story.

I was also on medication and she did not approve of medication.  Medication is also good to help take the edge off or balance your chemicals.   Energy work is not medicine and it cannot cure you so stay on what you are on and keep seeing who you see (or trade them in for a goal orientated therapist)  keep going to AA  whatever it is you are doing. How is that for a wordy disclaimer!?

ANYWAY.....Reiki and other Energy work to relieve symptoms of Depression, Anxiety, and Detox.  They help you to relax and over time teach you to get to calm when you need to get to calm or draw in energy when you need to draw in energy. Reiki is great for helping issues with sleep too.  Reciting the 5 Reiki Principles can also lift your mood and change your day.  Try it.

 Shoufuku no hihoo
Manbyo no ley-yaku
Kyo dake wa
Shinpai suna
Kansha shite
Goo hage me
Hito ni shinsetsu ni
Asa yuu gassho shite kokoro ni neji kuchi ni tonaeyo
Shin shin kaizen, Usui Reiki Ryoho
Chosso Usui Mikao

 no no no wait that is in Japenses sorry, here:

Just for Today
Don't get angry
Don't worry
Be Grateful
Work hard
Be kind to others

You may find other writings that add more profound words but this is the jist of the Reiki practitioner.

Reiki doesn't hurt but can in certain people and in certain situations produce a strong release.  I cry when having energy work done, especially if I am stuffing emotions or not maintaining my own energetic health.  Some people get really excited for a bit, angry, or even dizzy.  It is the movement of energy that you are experiencing and it is why you should go to someone you trust and who can assist with these types of releases.

I recently heard a story about someone going to a spa and having all sorts of energetic work done in a Reiki session. I had to question the practitioners motives, becasue if you do not know someone or how they react to the manipulation of their energy field, you should not be doing too much to them the first time.

For me I think a practitioner who has a support team is the best kind to go to.  Since we are talking about anxiety and depression don't be shy ask them if they have a list of psychologists or what their background is. A Reiki practitioner can listen or give you energetic hints on how to deal with many things but remember they are not a licensed counselor. If they start to over counsel ..... run!

I am not saying be untrusting of all people, well maybe I am, I am saying you are the client and they are there to do what is best for you.

Off that soapbox.

Reiki helps the symptoms that accompany depression and anxiety first, in time it assists with the depression and anxiety by aligning your energy and releasing the places that hold onto the darkness.

As always I wish you love and light!

Monday, December 5, 2011

We all have flaws

I know it has been a while and I hope to be able to write more regularly once the holidays are over.

I have been thinking about speaking our truth this week. I was prompted by the throat Chakra suggestion I received this week and the idea to do weekly Chakra information.  Thanks Vickie!

I will be posting that information on my FB page Tammy Murray Cousins Holistic Healing and Coaching weekly. I will also be posting that information on another page I am affiliated with "Women Empowering Other Women" 

Anyway I have been thinking about living and speaking our truth and what that means.  It doesn't mean walking around telling people off, in fact it is quite the contrary.  I believe first and foremost it is being true to ourselves and speaking to ourselves honestly.

We all have flaws, none of us are designed perfectly.  Wait let me use a different word because I think we are all perfect for who and where we are and that there is no real perfection standard we all must live by. 

Hmmm let me say it this way,  when we are not in acceptance of our flaws, or try to be what we thing others want us to be, this is where we run into trouble. 

In these cases no matter what others do we will not be happy or even notice. The thoughts in our heads are truly powerful things.

Many times because we are disappointed in ourselves for one reason or another, we will blame others, or behave in a passive aggressive manner to get attention from those whom we love.  Sometimes after that doesn't work we have outbursts in an attempt to explain the issue, but usually that doesn't end well and instead of stating what we need, we provide a long list of what others make us do. 

Sound familiar?

So I ask, what is your flaw and what have you been doing subconsciously to others because of it? 

I also challenge you to be honest with yourself. Love and accept your flaws, own them, love them.  It is in doing this, that you open yourself up to a much better state of being.

I know it is soo counter productive we live in a world humming with people telling us to  "lose weight" "get rid of wrinkles" "be a perfect parent" "be a better partner" and soo many more I cannot type them all. 

Take a moment today and love you for you.



Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Human Design and Waiting

I have been doing a lot more Human Design readings lately, and I LOVE that!  I love watching people faces when something resonates deeply.  Sometimes it looks like relief and sometimes it looks like confusion. 

The confusion comes from the realization that many of us in fact all but about 8% of the population are here to respond.  We are here to wait, wait to respond, wait to be invited, wait to make a decision. Waiting makes us uncomfortable, waiting makes us feel like we are failing, but in reality waiting is what most of us must do!

I remember when I learned Human Design I wanted to jump over my type and strategy and get right to the good stuff, the gates, or the CHiron, or more importantly the incarnation cross!  I didn't want to wait, not for a second because to me those were the things that were interesting.   Those are the things I wanted to know "NOW"

I watch many of my clients struggle with the waiting, we just are not conditioned to wait.  However until we master our type and strategy (and I mean master) the rest does not matter. We cannot fully live out and understand our characteristics (centers and gates), lessons (chiron), or purpose (incarnation crosses), until we understand out strategy. 

To recap very briefly, for those who have not had a chart done there are 5 types in Human Design: 

Manifestors make up  8% of the population and truly the only people who do not have to wait, but do need to be sure they slow down and inform those their actions will impact, even if it seems like an necessary step to them.They also must understand they cannot do it all. 

Projector  24% of the population they are wise wise beings, they know a ton, however they must wait to be invited into conversations, engagements of all kinds, or answer questions etc. When they give information or show up where they were not invited or where they may have invited themselves, or give information that may be relevant but was not requested, everyone feels uncomfortable. When they wait to be invited to speak or attend or work the energy is beautiful.

Reflector 1% of the population, reflectors are the mirrors to us all.  They are extremely sensitive to everyone's energy and amplify it back.  When decision making, Reflectors, to be at their best, strategy is to wait a total of 28 days. Over this time they think, evaluate, gets others input and in the end can make a solid decision that is right for them.

The rest of us fall under the Generator Category

Generators are worker bees they have sustainable workforce and life force energy. The generator strategy is to wait to respond, not to push their way or work their way into things. The hard part for a generator is that they will work hard on things regardless of whether it was entered into correctly or not.

Manifesting Generators are generators with a bit more pep, they have what is called a motor to the throat so they have a capacity to manifest differently than a generator, the strategy for a mani-gen is to wait to respond but also to take the time to inform those who will be impacted by what they are doing (or not doing).

You still may be wondering why it is so important to know your type and strategy and the answer is conditioning.  One of the best things about Human Design is it shows you who you really are, and not what society tells us we are supposed to be. An example is a reflector, they are the last person who should "just do it" yet I bet if I ever meet one that is just what they are trying to do, and not being successful at it. Another is a projector who is trying to be a work horse to get a promotion, it is not going to work.

Knowing your type and strategy, understanding it and implementing it will change your life. I challenge you whether you know your type or not to try waiting, if it works for you you are one of 4 types and if it doesn't, well you just may be a manifestor! 

'Til I think of something more to say.....
Bright Blessings!

Monday, October 10, 2011

I love when Human Design shows its beauty in my daily life!

I was once told that in time I would be able to talk to someone and know their design before running their chart.  I used to doubt it, even when I saw it happening.  Until this weekend that is.

As a refresher and simply put:  Human Design is a explanation of how you process energy that results in a very accurate assessment  of you, how you work with others, common themes in your life and a lot more but I said simply put  :) 

I was speaking with a potential client last night.  He is 24.

While we were talking he stated that at 16 he quit school, because he just couldn't do what they wanted him to. He did get his GED recently and admits that the life he is living now is not his ideal life.

Listening to him I kept being drawn to his mind, he has a great mind, one which I believe he spends far too much time in.   He truly has a knack for making money, he thinks completely out of the box. He also knows people. A goal in this case would be to shift his way of doing business now to a more respectable means.  He is a born networker. He wheels and deals and has a confidence that to my  41 year old eyes seems foolish, yet is very real.

Last night he told me he would be a great car salesman, I agree he could sell almost anything. He also told me that he would need to find the right place where he could be straight up and people would listen to him. As he went on and on I realized at times when the information seemed irrelevant to me (it was off topic) I was going in and out of actually hearing him or sometimes I could feel he was looking for a reaction, one I was not giving.  At times he would say outrageously shocking things (well shocking to the general public not shocking to me)   The final thing he said that struck me, was that he isn't the type of person who can get up everyday and go to work, he wants to do certain work for certain money at certain times.

Well, this whole conversation described exactly what I would have said to him in his Human Design reading, yet here he is, telling me clearly and being shunned most of his life for it.  Although dropping out is not something I recommend, he was doing what felt right to him. He could not sit there day in and day out, he could not feel comfortable in that space.  He could not stay focused instead day dreaming and thinking of other things.  His need for attention and his inappropriate ways of getting it are text book to having an open throat.

Knowing how he works, and that he isn't a 9-5 everyday type of guy, is spot on to being a Projector type. It would be in his best interest to break from the hours for dollars mentality and find him something he loves and is flexible.

He is also a 4/6 which means he is a born networker, other people are very very important to him, he energetically needs them.

I am not sure you all are feeling my excitement here but it is flowing from me like a hose falling out of an above ground pool!

The fact that he knows who he is and is dealing with a cultural misconception that we have been conditioned with for decades upon decades, seems soo much easier for me to work with than what I had anticipated!

He also has fear and correction in his chart but at the end of that he has the joy of life.  He needs people to assist him in getting done what he wants to do.  Yet he is soo stuck in his conditioning and peoples misunderstandings, that when he hits his low, low  of the emotional wave it comes out as anger and again following another aspect in his chart, doing things to stir up drama or things that may be harmful to  himself and others.

He bitterness is undeniable and not out of the ordinary for the Projector in fact it is part of being a Projector.   On top of all of that, he also has the mutative channel which causes pressure to bring change to us all.  To me he is a magical magical being.  I do hope I am able to share more with him.  

As we talked I was reminded what a gift Human Design is, just when you think there is no hope or someone is acting out of character you find, they are being just who they are meant to be, and if we are all being our selves then there are solutions to all of our challenges.

Thoughts, comments, questions, feel free to post on this thread.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Energy Life....what???

This is something I wrote and felt like sharing.....

Hi there, for those of you who don't know,  I am Tammy Murray-Cousins, Energy Life Coach, sometimes I feel as if I would be just as clear saying; Tammy Murray-Cousins blah blah blah.  

The truth is a lot of energy went into my title. I chose to steer clear of things like Spiritual Coach or plain Life Coach. I wanted definition but no limits.  I now find that many do not understand what I do.  Today I am here to explain.

Some will refer to me as a Lightworker.  This term was recently made popular by … well I really don’t know as the term is new to me over the last year or so.  Anyway a Lightworker is defined as a person who has a strong desire to spread light and is usually a term used for healers and spiritual people.  Well that is the definition to the best of my ability, I don’t love titles.  

I prefer Energy worker, but that often implies that I work for the electric company, as I was told at a networking group one day.  

Simply put.  I can feel and understand the energies of our subtle bodies and have many tools to teach you to change the way your subtle energies are working.  I have known how to do this my whole life. I have been able to assess energies since I was small.  I should note, I have not always heeded my own inner guidance but do now and it is apparent in how I am living my life.  

My other titles are just that titles, they are symbols that my mind can understand and that I have collected along the way, however they were just to assist me in believing in my own gifts.  The way of Reiki master/teacher was presented to me and I took it, however not all I do by way of creating space for healing is of a Reiki nature.  This also applies to the work I do with assisting in changing thought patterns and neural pathways.   

These are also things I have known and understood for a very long time but my mind made me wait until I had certificates and degrees in various studies.  

What happens in coaching sessions with me is we will focus on a goal of yours.  These goals are unlimited; they could be sobriety, a positive attitude, relaxation, self awareness, relationship assistance or finding a job.  The goals you can work towards are endless.  We will talk and I will provide you with tools to use to reach your desired outcome.  

In some cases I will pull out my specialty tools, such as Reiki or Human Design to assist in clarifying your goals or removing blocks that hinder you.  

I will create a safe place for you to do the work you wish to do, for as long as you need me to.  My goal is to assist you to be able to provide that space for yourself. 

I also do any types of card readings and can assist you to connect with your guides and angels if you wish to do so. I also teach classes in which you can learn how to read your own cards and those of others. 

As I write this maybe Energy Teacher would have been a better title, but again that implies that you would be the only one learning and that is not the case.  Sessions with me are interactive and you will often times leave with a homework assignment of some kind, anything from writing about the life you would choose if there were no obstacles to going home and sitting on your lawn for 3 minutes a day.  

What is important to understand is I am here for you, to assist you to reaching your goals and desires.

Bright Blessings! 

Friday, September 2, 2011


Is anyone else rapping 'colors, c c c colors" ? or is it just me?
I realized I have not blogged in a long time.  I blame it on the fact that I was enjoying my summer with the kids.  First time I was able to spend that much time with them since having them.  It was awesome! 
Over the last few days, I have been getting questions from clients and friends asking how they can shift their energies and make their mind load a little lighter.  I have also been asked by many, what I do to stay in the state I am in or they one to perceive I am in [more on that in another post :) ] . I decided since I was trying to think of what to blog about, this would be it! Colors!
I always find myself heading to the same responses when asked these types of questions. 
First in order to change your reality you have to change your mind, but I admit at times without someone chatting with you and pushing you through, it is hard to change your mind yourself.  Heck I still resist my coaches and I know they are right. 
If I doubt me and try to change my own mind, an instant internal battle begins.  Until I reach out, resist the help and later settle, with what I knew was right in the first place, but are now open to listen, a little.  Big circle or what can feel like nuttiness.  These circles although they seem endless are never without movement forward though.  [Check in with your own and see if you can see a spot where you grew].  
With all this in mind an easy solution and one I always give to my Reiki clients is color. 
Colors can assist in so many areas.  Colors have their own vibrations and meaning and can instantly change your mood or assist in strengthening and/or cleansing a chakra thus changing your mood.  They can even give a room whatever energy you need it to have. 
I will list a few simple fixes I use regularly when dealing with my daily ups and downs. 
When you are feeling “off” rushing around from here to there for everyone else and cannot seem to keep your own feet in the same spot for more than a minute, use brown.  I relate it to a tree trunk securely and safely planted in the earth with energy flowing in through its roots and out back to the universe through the leaves. 
If you find you are feeling out of balance emotionally, spiritually, or physically.  Use shades of purple.  Notice when you wear purple, it gives you a kind of confidence. I like to wear purple to job interviews too. 
When you feel as if you are pulling in too much from others, yellow is a great defender.  My favorite and easiest way to add yell since I do not wear much of it, is to put a yellow sticky note paper in my shirt.  Yes it is that easy! 
Green and pink are great for times when you need a little love, for yourself or for others.  Brighter pinks are great to get noticed or express a bit of yourself, like with a purse or necklace. 
Red is great when you need a little bit of power or assertiveness. Red is great and speaks volumes, even if it is just a pair of socks or the color of your cell phone. 
Blue can be used when you need a bit if assistance with speaking your truth as related to the throat chakra or when you are dealing with ideals or beliefs. 
Orange is the color for joy and creativity.  Fun. 
White is cleansing and clarity.  I do not personally wear a lot of white but I use the color daily.  I use white light for protection, comfort, and cleansing.  Picturing white light surrounding you or falling onto you can be easily done with a moment’s notice.  Try it. There is no wrong way to do it!
I hope you find these tips helpful as they are from my personal daily life bag o tricks. 

You can also use colors for healing the physical body.  Here is a list of some common uses:
Violet:. Good for mental disorders, the nervous system, baldness and female complaints.

Indigo: Use for removing fears and reassures those afraid of the dark. Good for emotional problems, deafness, and especially good for the eye.
Blue: Blue acts as an antiseptic and cooling agent. Excellent for all inflammations.  Great for cuts and burns.

Green: Green is the great healer. When in doubt, use green. Green is excellent for heart problems, neuralgic headaches, ulcers, head colds and boils.

Yellow: Bowel and intestine problems. It can act as a mild sedative to relieve many fears and give a mental uplift. It is good for treating indigestion and heartburn, constipation, also menstrual problems.

Orange: Is good for illnesses of the respiratory system such as asthma, allergies, and bronchitis.

Red: It is a warm color which invigorates, excellent when used for treatment of persons having heat diseases, anemia, blood disorders, and liver diseases.
You can wear the color, place patches on areas color on your skin, or imagine light entering those areas in those colors.  Again these are things that I try to incorporate as I can. 
I invite you all to expiriement with the colors in your closet and in your life.  Please let me know what you discover! 
Blessings to you all! 

Monday, May 30, 2011

Sometimes I wonder if I should have named this blog "tales of a late blooming entrepreneur".

I am of the belief that we are all learning, every day of our lives is an oppurtunity to learn something new.  For the most part I think that is true regardless of who you are.  After shopping for pools over the weekend I believe I now have a very good understanding of the differences in local pools and pool companies.  Bottom line is the whole thing is expensive but a great investment for my family.

Other things are not so easy to learn and do take time. Things like, happiness is a choice, although my kids hear that everyday in morning announcements at school my son, is like a little old grumpy man.  He is the most creative, compassionate, funny, most annoying person in my whole life.  I get impatient waiting for him to see it in himself and get over his quirks. He is a beautiful person.  Everyone is beautiful and deserves patience and love.  :)

I remember when I was stuck, I bet some of the readers here do too.  It took about 6 months and daily pounding to get into my head that I controlled my feelings, that things did not happen to me.

I used to find the people working with me very annoying. I say that with such love, becasue they all helped me to get where I am now.  Each day I get closer to the life I want, the things I want in it and total acceptance to how things are. 

Yesterday I posted a comment about abundance and how there is enough for everyone and you just need to believe it an accept it and someone said "even money?"  I responded "yes and food too!".

I know may people are struggling financially and there is the belief of an economic break down.  I personally think that we are believing in that more than believing in ourselves. 

My family was hit by the adjustment and my husband was out of steady work for 2 years.  We had to change some things. adjust.  We did and then I quit my job at the same company.  Unheard of at the time and when the company kept people working for fear of losing their job.  Very unhealthy environment for me.  Anyway I digress.

I will sum it up by saying this, did you know that the American public, ordinary people like you and me, collectively spent over 150 million dollars on 3 movies that came out this weekend?

Just think about that.  The money is there.  Happiness and food or love or whatever you want is too!

Peace and Love

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Join me on my see saw, won't you?

To me the most confusing thing about all the woo woo stuff I am into, is that I am not sure I truly believe in an after life.  I believe that energy never dies and that once the spark is gone your energy goes on to do other things, but I cannot say for sure if I think we reincarnate or come back as trees or come back at all. 

You know when you go under for surgery, sometimes I think that is what death is like except they do not wake you up again.  Unconscious, other times I think that we go somewhere, not as people with people experiences but as energy with energy experiences.

Now that being said,from my head my heart says:

I believe in angels and passed on loved ones communicating with you.  I also believe that many of us have been here before and carry some residual fears or missions to carry out. I believe that love is a powerful energy that even if unconscious brings us together, we may just not know it....

I am laughing now at me, and I am because I get messages for people and from people.  I get them all the time. Sometimes I pass them on sometimes I do not.  Sometimes I doubt they are from the other side and think it is residual energy that someone carries in their aura but I also believe in intelligent haunting.  There have been times when a butterfly has led me to a graveside, when I was not sure which one it was. 

I think all this seesaw waffling is what often holds me back from believing in my skill.  Yet, I also think that is what makes my skills more believable. A healthy dose of skepticism never hurt anyone....or has it?

I find it very funny when my young male friends come to me when I am in the shower.  No, I do not see them and they do not see me, but I think of a funny story or a memory or get a message in my mind.  Today was one for a friends son, the message was to the effect of, (and I will not direct quote because it is more the feeling than the words) 

Don't always let everyone know what you are doing or thinking, if you are crazy or sane, leave a sense of mystery, that is what will draw people to you they will want to know, they may never find out.  
Be mysterious.  

Totally what I would expect the dad to tell his son. Especially because I sensed he is concerned.

So does that make it real?  I believe so, for the fact that there was no reason for me to be thinking of them in the shower.  I just had surgery and I was concerned about my surgical site not hearing a message from an old friend.  Heck I had just finished taking off and fixing a door knob, these two were the farthest from my mind.  

Anyway, I am publicly acknowledging this message.  It happened, I got it, and I am passing it on, well in a way, not directly to the son as he is a minor but to my blog readers as I step out farther into who I really am.  

Can I read people on command? don't know, I have never tried, well that is not true either, I have tried and I have done it, but there was always just one acknowledgement and then the pressure of the persons curiosity and my fear would shut me down.  Not sure that is the route I want to go.  I know it is where the money is, but I find private healing sessions are a much better place to share this type of information.  It is of a healing nature after all.  People come for a healing, some stress relief and they may leave with a nugget of love from days gone by, they may not, but they leave feeling better just the same. 

Usually things come to me when I am performing a Reiki session or doing a reading, sometimes days later, in the way of a dream, a story, or a song.  I know when they happen and sometimes I also know when people I have not spoken to in years are thinking of me.  I cannot explain it.  I sometimes will try to verify it and sometimes I just know and it warms my heart. 

I know we all have these abilities some are just better at tapping into them than others.   I have no doubt of what I am capable of. 

Although I seem to waffle to and fro I do know that it is time to surrender to who I am and what I do, so that I can find the best way to help people.

Sometimes the advise I give or the answers to questions are not even my words at all, they are the words of someone a client has lost, a guide or some other message that comes through me and I am not always aware of thinking before I speak, but a lot of times they will say "my mom used to say that" or "that reminds me of what my dad used to tell me" and I am sitting there thinking "that was obviously them because I do not speak like that".

As I sit here writing this I have to wonder if I will ever post it.  I have a slew of unposted blog entries in my drafts folder.  Many have not been posted for fear and wondering what people would think or if it is good for business.

Also to show that I work from a place of knowing but often, doubting what I know, that is in my design it is me, but I do not doubt me, not for one second.

I have many skills and a lot of information to share and a lot of things to show others.  I plan to find the best way to do this and get it done.

I feel something big is coming and it is coming soon and I love all the support you give as I walk into whatever it may be.

Much love to all! 

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Remembering Nora

I am not sure I have told many people, but I have been taking the Hospice Volunteer Training course.

Last night we watched a remarkable story about a remarkable woman. Nora Lenihan. She allowed cameras to follow her through her battle with breast cancer.  She was 32 when she first was diagnosed and went into remission, she lost her mother to the same disease when she was 37 and shortly after was told hers returned and spread, she died at 39.  The Boston Globe did an article about her as well.  The documentary that followed her for 299 days of life.  She had roots in RI and lived for many years in Boston. The Boston Globe article was June 23,1996.

Today is the anniversary of her death. The instructor didn't realize that when she planned the class and while we were discussing the documentary we were treated with the most beautiful sunset we had seen since we started classes weeks ago.

As all deaths go, I do not want her illness to define her but the way she lived.

Something she spoke of that really got to me was, knowing that she was dying took away her blissful ignorance.  She said we as humans get up everyday and plan the day, the week, the month, the years to come, without ever thinking it may be our last day. We are blissfully ignorant. 

Periodically the narrator would say, today is day 165, Nora does not know how much time she has left. 

She met and lost over 15 women who were in her support groups, it was also repeated throughout the movie by her friends that she was more alive than she had ever been in this part of her journey.  It was just an amazing story. 

I am so grateful to have been able to see it.  I cannot find a copy for the life of me. I would love to replace my instructors VHS tape with a DVD, she shows it every training session.

I think when I started writing this entry this morning I was going somewhere in sharing this, but now it seems I cannot remember and perhaps it is better because today I just want to share Nora's name and say she was remarkable.

I am guessing this seems like a really depressing post.  To some it may be and to some it may drudge up many other things and for that I apologize.

I guess I just wanted to share her courage and story with you all and send hugs to her family.  I wish I could find a copy of her story online.  If I do I will add it later.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

What if......

A memory popped into my head last night and I was almost forced to get up and write it.  I won that battle but I still feel it needs to go here.

I was once told "I pulled up outside your apartment door that night, I decided if you opened the door I would come in and we could be together, you didn't so I left."  I remember thinking how funny that was, becasue I was inside my apartment wondering what the car wanted outside finding it strage.

It is likely that, that relationship would have been strained from the get go. As much as we thought we wanted it, it was not meant to be.  It was really a situation I intentionally created to protect myself from something else.  That story will wait for another day.

Today's story is about well I am not really sure what it is about.  Perception, chance, a strange attempt at romance.......maybe sitting in the car would have worked if he played the Cranberries really loud, or yelled my name, who's to say.

I think I have been venturing into that dark land of "what if's" lately, and wondering how my life and the health of myself and others would be a bit different if things had been different.  I try not to stay in the "what if's" too much because it is really not a productive place to be, but in my attempt to clear it all. I am allowing short trips.  What is making it much better than in the past is I am finding a positive result for each senerio.  I have amazed myself with how many I have found.  It is not always easy but when I am prompted I get it done.

I believe that each experience we have regardless of how devastating can bring you soo much, if you are only able or willing to see it. In some cases that realization is delayed as it is meant to be.  Never doubt that the pain or emotions you feel around something is wrong.  Just try to remember there are great lessons from the darkest of times and those lessons propel us into the next great thing.

Also try not to carry that raw pain or anger with you for years at a time.  (I laugh as I write that line)

I was talking to an amazing woman last night and we were discussing how you always have a fear or a dread of the worst thing that can happen in your life, then it happens and you are still here and you really need to stop and decide what you are going to do with it. 

Then another woman in the group reminded us to "never should on yourself".

I find it really cool that a volunteer opportunity with an attached 9 week training course, can truly support the clearing work I am doing. In fact there have been many classes or books I have read that let me know all this work is to be happening right now, and even though sometimes I scold myself for still having theses bits and pieces or huge chunks of stuff that I have not allowed myself to let go of, it is all in the time it was meant to be done in.

When I look at what I have written I really see clearly that how we look at something and if we look at it as it is without judgement, events and memories just are what they are.  When we remove the "what if's" and "shoulds" we are allowed to just see what was.

The challenge this week is to release judgement, try it.  Do not judge people, ideas, plans, or words.  Stop yourself each time you label something with a judgement.   

Feel free to let me know how you made out!

Friday, April 22, 2011

What is wrong with today, right now?

I really need to find a way to get things recorded while I am in my car or in the shower, I have come up with some great ideas to write about but by the time I am dried off the ideas are jumbled and do not sound as smooth as they did in my head.

After deciding not to return to the school I was working at, and focusing on my family and my business, I decided to grab a part time job, just a few hours a week like 10-15.  I have to say the search was a bit harder than I had imagined.  Places like pet stores want people to work 30 hour shifts for 8 hours a day.  I didn't want that.  I wanted a few hours a day a few days a week, because my main concern is my business. 

I did notice however that living my dream added some challenges.  The most concerning to me, was not money,  I have grown to have a very different relationship with money.  Rather than having it and wanting more, or not having it and wanting more, I have learned to appreciate each penny I have, which is tough as I used to throw them away regularly while cleaning. What challenged me most was not wearing sweat pants.  Working from home allows me to sit in sweatpants 24/7.  Although they are nice and not ratty and some are yoga pants.  I missed getting dressed in real clothes.  Comfort is a great things.  Love my comfortable pants, but there is something to be said for getting up and putting on nice clothes doing your hair and going somewhere. Even  if the minute you return home you change back into your comfortable clothes. 

It could be argued that I could easily do that to do a Reiki treatment, and sometimes I did, but I decided I needed something more regular.

The other challenge was sleeping, I have never been a great night sleeper and do get much of my better rest in the morning, but I was starting to feel like time is being wasted sleeping. If I could use that same block of time and make money, it could be beneficial.  Also I have the tendency to become quite the hermit, and be very happy that way, but in order to network and thrive on many levels, I decided I might need to leave the house. 

I still find it funny that I have to come up with all these reasons to get a part-time job, almost as funny as when I went on my pet store interview and they wanted 8 hours a day 3 or 4 days a week! I was appalled. Nothing was as funny to me as saying to my husband "I am sorry I just cannot work an 8 hour shift"  I know I stunned him as he was quiet and he is never quiet, even when he should stop talking his thoughts fly out, so silence was hysterical to me! 

Sooo the decision was made I was going to look for some real part time work. That I could do effortlessly as my ankle is still being a pest (I know I have more to learn from it before it goes back to normal)  I got a call the other day from a place I had submitted a resume to a while back.  It is an Admin position for 12 hours a week for a state/town governed and regulated agency.  I interviewed on Wednesday and start next Wednesday.  I am excited.  It is just what I wanted, there is not room or expectancy for advancement and I may never see a raise but I will be learning something new and utilize ALL of my skills, and have the potential to help people who really need and want to be helped.  The hours are perfect and will still allow for beach days in the summer as well as clients and classes I will be teaching. 

So on to why I am really writing.  This time when I discussed the job with my husband, he made some comments about moving up, getting more hours, posting to bigger positions.  It really made me think.

When I worked in corporate it was all about goals and moving forward and getting higher etc.  I drove many a boss nuts with my desire to not set goals and just be where I was.  I lost that battle usually and was always moved up with responsibility or job level, that I always fulfilled and then some. They felt that I needed to be pushed that I was being lazy, same things I used to hear in High School. 

To my dismay my goal of just being there was not working.  I think that is why my goal to leave that company actually my long term goal of "retiring in 5 years" only took 4 or less.  Sometimes moving up the corporate ladder just isn't what people want no matter how good they are at it.  I know crazy huh?  Walking away from what could have turned into an even bigger role and even more money.  LOL.  I see why my husband often shakes his head at me, but it was not my dream. 

Anyway sometimes being where I am and enjoying it is better. 

I can recall a few major relationships in my life that I missed out on because I was more focused on the next 10 steps rather than enjoying the step I was on.  Even when my kids were small I was always looking to the next development and not really enjoying the one they were at for very long. I can honestly say, I  do that differently now, I can even appreciate days like today when I need to take an extended time out from their bickering and other foolishness. 

soo interested in moving quickly ahead to the next thing that may or may not be there? or even worse another thing I have been doing, sitting in your head remembering things that you have learned to accept but still try and tear apart for a lesson as to why it occurred.  Yes what is wrong with today, right now?

As I sit here in silence (well besides my squawking parrot) and hear nothing else but my kids in their rooms busing themselves until mom has chilled out, and I have to say nothing.  To me nothing is wrong with today and right now and I am blessed to be at the point where I can just sit her silently and enjoy it. 

What makes me laugh even more is when asked about my thoughts of the job just being what it is, with few benefits in the way of vacations etc, and really no opportunity for moving up, but the overall importance of the position and her desire to train someone who is honest and will really stay.  I told the sweatpants story.

I love just being me!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Naked Reiki Master

HA!  Got your attention didn't I!?!?!  Now let me explain what this is all about. 

When I was in my 20's, I used to want to write a book called a look (or was it a walk) inside my mind. (Funny I cannot remember.)  It was going to be a collection of all of the poetry I had written.

I found as I shared them with people, they couldn't really grasp what I was saying.  I have an interesting past full of losses, disappointments, and many overshadowed blessings, that at 24, not many  had been through.  Heck some of the people that I shared with who were in their 50's hadn't been through it.  So I decided to put it aside.  I decided people were not ready for that mind.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what I can do to express my Energy Sessions in one word, that people can understand and be interested in.  I came up with "The Naked Reiki Master" It made me laugh thinking about the calls I would receive asking about my services. 

Really as I started to think about it more, how what people like most about me and what I like most about me, is that I am me.

Funny as I was having these thoughts I was putting on my makeup (which as many know, beyond eyeliner I really do not like).  I am always happy when I am me, it is when I am trying not to be me that I become unhappy, angry, or frustrated and stuck.  I have been reminded lately of a few different times where I was trying to be something I wasn't, and they are the most trying and hurtful and biggest learning experiences in my life. I can honestly say I am still learning the lessons now.  Some 15 plus years later. 

I am just me, and I will always just be me and if me gains a few pounds or gets a big huge zit, I am still me and the me is the same one I put to bed at night and the same one that gets up in the morning.  No facades or need to be anyone else except me. No need for botox or liposuction, not even the tummy tuck I have often thought about. For now I feel it is really important just to be me.

I share this today and wonder, maybe it is the same for you.  As I stood there staring at myself in the mirror today, I noticed my cute little dimple is looking more like a wrinkle.  I noticed it a week ago and it bothered me, now I see it differently as it is a part of me, and I am beautiful and so are you. 

I thought maybe the time is now that a walk inside the mind of Tammy can really help people.  I thought that maybe the time is now to become vulnerable and just put myself out there as I am, and do what it is that I do and just continue being me.

So I posted the picture above and a couple others on my FB page that my daughter took of me this sunny Sunday morning, as is, as a reminder to me that I am me and who better to be.

Bright Blessings to you all!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Sometimes my blog will spread my love of others.....

I am just beginning to write a testimonial on a series of classes I have taken recently with Asha Ramakrishna of  I want to try and express what her classes have given me and will continue to give me as they evolve.  While doing this I had the shove to share this information with all of my FB pals, as I know there are many of you out there who can benefit from what she has to say.  
Before I begin I have to say: I do not stand up and shout about too many of the teachers,  I have had, as I am a tough critic, there are probably only 6 of them that I will stand behind and Asha has been added to that list. She is kind, caring, professional, authentic, and beautiful.   I will also say without doubt that the minute you meet her you will see the light she is here to share with us all.  I just love her!
As women, I think we can all relate to times when we have tried to compare ourselves to someone else, think we are not good enough, that our way is not best, have put parts of us away to please others, or need permission to be ourselves.
I know a lot of people I talk to value and envy the ability they see others have in which they are able to be themselves and stand by their beliefs.  Asha teaches what she was given as the Sacred Chalice Principles. Each one of the seven principles stands alone strongly and yet stands as strongly as part of the group.
She has taught me that in a sisterhood there is no room for competition or comparing ourselves to other people. There are enough teachers and students for everyone and there does not have to be that masculine beat down of other people to get who is right for us. This can translate into so many areas in our lives. 
Regardless of the situation we have all been in conversations with others of why we are better than another woman in business or relationships, or motherhood. There always seems to be times when we are trying to compare ourselves to someone else or to an ideal we hold of someone else, while ignoring ourselves and not paying respect to who we are, believing in who we are, and knowing that we are enough. 
We often sit in a state of panic and worry in relation to others and lose our grasp on what role the divine feminine energy plays in our life.
The Sacred Chalice Principles are amazing,freeing, and gratifying. They bring peace and flexibility to what is described as very masculine qualities that we all have.  
The principles truly bring softness to the masculine energy many of us portray in life, whether it be as a single mother or a business woman. 
We do not need to talk about, cut down, or bring down other women that we perceive as a threat to us. There is enough work, enough love, enough men, and enough energy for us all. 
We do not have to cut people out as a result of fear.  I am not saying bad things do not happen but I am encouraging and challenging you to stop the role you may play in them.
If you are willing to take a chance and learn something about yourself, your nature, and what you can do to bring more feminine energy into your life, then Asha is truly a teacher for you.
She offers classes in Somerville, retreats all over Massachusetts, as  well as teleclasses. 
To learn more about The Sacred Chalice Prinicples here