Thursday, February 24, 2011

Reiki and My Ankle

There are about five other things I am supposed to be doing right now, but I was hit with an inspiration to write about Reiki and my ankle. 

It occurred to me as I talk more about Reiki and holding Reiki Sessions, that people still think of Reiki as a physical healing modality, and it can be, it also balances out energetic bodies, but I feel Reiki is more of a thought/feeling healing modality. It delievers what is best for each.  It almost always provides relaxation and stress relief.

A perfect example of someone getting what is needed is my ankle.  The circumstances surrounding my ankle break are strange.  I was at work that night, a week or so out from a breast biopsy (which was fine) I was trying to be cautious of the activites I participated in.  We had been at the field playing soccer with anther group of girls and I participated but only as much as necessary.  I was being cautious.  I did not want to hurt my biopsy site, it was still very tender. 

About and hour later, after returning from a trip to the medical center with my students, it was time to take out the trash, no one would assist or come with me.  So off I went to walk across the lot with the trash. The trash was light or I would not have done it otherwise.

I no sooner walked out of the house and took about 3-4 strides, and down I went.  I flew forward with such force that I scaped my hands and knees.  My head landed on the trash bag.  I looked around and I was alone.  No one was around it was dark and man what an a$$ I felt like! I have no idea why I fell and any attempt I make to think about it, does not help me in figuring it in a way others would understand (although I have my own ideas)

I finished over 2 hours of my shift, including 45 minutes with a volatile student, on my feet with no backup and ice in my sock.  I drove home and by the time I went to bed it looked like someone blew up my foot. I remember my husband telling me there was no way I broke it becasue it would be too painful to walk on.   The next morning I couldn't walk on it.

I went to the ER and left with the knowledge that I had broke my fibula.  That was 4 months ago.  The bone is just starting to grow in.  I still have not been able to pivot, jump, or run.  The muscles around it are weak but not permanently damaged. I am still working on that and range of motion.  I have not been cleared to go back to the job that I was doing.  I am still not sure when exactly that will happen. Some people would have been better by now.  Some people may have returned to that job by now.  Some people, but they are not me. 

Wow long story......

I have heard comments such as, why don't you Reiki yourself etc.  I do, I do all of the time.  I also receive it when I am in a session with others.  Reiki is a part of my daily life and the Universe knows what is best for me.  I trust that.  It has helped immensely with pain management and more so in driving me in the direction of my dreams.

It has given me a great understanding of who I am and what I want to do, as well as opened many doors to assist in me getting there.  It has helped me to understand what is truly important in my life, why I have always felt so different and helped me learn new ways in viewing my past, my present, and my future. 

People have been telling me for years and years about my energy and offered guidance on how and what I should be pursuing, and I never really heard it clearly until I broke my ankle. 

So my ankle may not be 100% but I sure am and I truly believe that it is a direct result of my Reiki work. 

I surely hope this turns more people onto Reiki than away from Reiki, but I think it was time for me to write this all down. To say it out loud.  There was something divine in me falling that day.

I also think I am writing this for me, becasue I finally understand, I may not be able to assist in shrinking ever tumor I come across, healing every broken heart, or need to be afraid that Reiki will not help someone, becasue it always, always does. 

Reiki does for each person what that person needs.  It can give you peace.

Sunday, February 20, 2011


There is no scarier word for me when it come to my college courses than Algebra.  I took it in Junior High and  HS as well as summer school and it did not go so well.  Mainly because I was a slacker and found it way more important to go to the restroom and smoke, or doodle about who I thought was cute.  It was easier for me to switch to business courses.

I took it again when I went to a local community college.  I passed Algebra 1, the guy liked me and decided to grade me on what I did and not what I didn't do, the Algebra 2, the lady was not so nice and I ended up dropping out of school, not solely for that reason but it played into it on some level.  

I went back to online school and last year I had a horrible time with the course.  I think some of it was the online graphing I could not do correctly AND my FEAR. I ended up with a C or C -, I was pleasantly surprised because I expected a D, but what it did to my nerves and my relationships over that time, was not really pretty for a good 9 weeks around here.

Fear drives us to do and say crazy things, it is one emotion that can paralyze us.  If I stared listing how fear has effected me I would be writing a book, not a quick blog, so I will stick to my short and sweet approach and say, that since trying to face my fears and put them aside I feel like a new person.

Often when we clear out the old fears things that would have once scared us tend to pop up. It is up to us to choose that we are willing and able to face the fear and move forward, close up and stay stuck, or even worse in my book handle it the same way as we did in the past. 

To me Algebra is one of those things that keep popping up. I decided this time to express my fears and a wonderful friend of mine recommended a book for me to look into.  I cannot thank him enough as the book is all about changing your mindset and thoughts about Algebra as it breaks it down into simpler steps.  I never would have thought of that, which surprised me since I apply it to so many other areas of my life. 

I have made the decision to work on this mindset and use the tools that I can find and get over this this Algebra fear. 1 class 5 weeks, piece of cake right? or should I say pie?  hahahaha that made me laugh. 

It's funny but I think when I can can do it, there will be little of the fears left in me to hold me back. So I thought I would just share that my intent is to work hard, do my work, learn the processes, and pass this class. I intend to ask for help when I need it, and to remain calm, cool, and collected over the next 5 weeks. I am also going to remember something I heard tonight on a call "you cannot laugh and worry at the same time". 

I know there are bigger issues in the world and I know that this may seem silly to some, but it is something I need to do for me.  It is actually refreshing to focus on such a seemingly small issue.

I will not bore you with the week by week details, but I may throw a sentence or 2 in my other weekly posts.

I also would like to challenge you to step out of the zone of comfort and see if you are able to change your mindset on something over the next 5 weeks.

Take care

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Quick Fix - A Post About Parenting

A year or so ago a concerned parent dontated over $400.00 to bring in a facilitator in to discuss a program called Active Parenting.  I looked into what it took to facilitate and it cost about $135.00 to take the class and get certified.  SO being me, I took the certification class and can now do it for free.  This saves the church and other concerned parents money that can be used for other needs.  It also allows me to do work that I really am passionate about for no charge. 

As I was preparing the class, I started to recall classes I have taken last year on parenting and I decided I was going to use those concepts in addition to the one's outlined in the Active Parenting Program. The classes I took taught me a much more positive and realistic way to help my kids on their journey is called Empowered Family Training and Parenting By Design, I had taken these classes offered by Karen Curry.

I spent days re-listening to hours and hours of classes (the best part of recorded teleclasses) going over my notes, and comparing it to Active Parenting.  I found a lot of similarities as well as differences some subtle and others not so subtle.  As I continued to review all of the information it stated to morph and take a different shape.  Sooo I have all my notes written and ready to go for my morphed parenting group.  Well minus a name. I might just use Morphed Parenting by Tammy Murray-Cousins, LOL!

The first class was canceled last week, due to the snow, it is scheduled to start this upcoming Tuesday Feb. 7.  If anyone is local, there is still space available. Email me at for more information.

Now for the quick fix that started me writing this post.

My daughter made me a snowman at school, and my son made fun of it causing my daughter to cry.  I was telling her it was a great snowman, that she must have worked really hard, not to pay attention to her brother etc.  Nothing was working she was miserable.

I took a picture of the snowman and within 2 minutes I had it posted on facebook. Instantly this generates encouraging comments about the snowman, which made my daughter feel much better. Yes that is what praise does, it makes us feel better.  In this case it came from outside of my daughter, as she now believed the snowman was awful.

So what is the problem? you may ask, well lets look at it, sure it solved the immediate issue, but if I ask myself what my long term parenting goals are for my kids, some of them would be: I want them to be independent, and to have healthy self esteem.  This cannot happen with only praise from the outside, that only makes her want to please others.  Long term parenting goals take longer to accomplish. They take a lot of time and a lot of repetition.

What could I have done differently?  (I actually tried a little but maybe not as much as I should have but at least I did some of it)

How do you feel about your work?   You must have spent a long time making this snowman.  I can see that you put in a lot of work?  You must be proud of yourself.  What do you think about your snowman?  What did you think about it before you came home?  I see you are crying, do you want to talk about what your brother said? I can only assume that she would have continued to tell me about how he is mean and how she feels he hates her etc, and I would sit and listen, not try and fix just listen.  Later I could bring my son in and have them talk about what happened and how the whole situation could have been handled differently etc.

This is instead of - this is the best snowman ever! Don't worry about what your brother says he was being rude! Don't cry.  Let me put this on facebook (so other people will make you feel better.)

Can you see the difference in where her good feeling can come from, in the above scenario? Where her self worth and sense of value could be obtained form within?

I am pretty sure I still would've posted it on facebook (I mean what don't I post there? LOL) but my intention would surely be different and whatever comments were received certainly would have been in addition to her own feelings not just to boost them.

Parenting is hard, it doesn't come with a manual.  One day you are holding a baby and suddenly you are being ignored by your teen wondering what is going on in their heads or worse.  

Being the parent of an 11 and 9 year old I often get nervous about what is to come and I often wonder if I have given them all they need.  That being said,  I have always known it is their journey and I am here to love, teach, and guide them, but ultimately it is their journey.  A goal I have always had is to be open, honest, and supportive, while teaching them to be who they are and encouraging them to do what is right for them, whether I like it or not.  My feeling has always been, live as you will, as long as you don't hurt others. I want them to be independent and make well thought out decisions for reasons that come from within themselves and not due to peer pressure, resentment, or because I said so.  

I know what I have learned in these classes and am able to share with others will be the difference in my kids success in life. 

It does take work and practice but I have already begun to see the changes in my own home. I am starting with what they are capable of and supporting them as they learn to clean and cook and be responsible for their own actions and belongings. I used to over parent in many cases out of my guilt for working and being gone from the home so much.  I didn't realize that in doing so much, it took away their view of what they are capable of.

The good thing about all of this is it works for the most part on any age child, well really person because we all have the same needs.  

For today I think I have written all I can, my intention was to introduce it and keep it short and sweet. Although now I feel I am cutting it short.

This is a topic that I am sure I will be posting a lot more about in the future, as well as offering teleclasses and other discussion groups.

If you have questions or want more info, let me know!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


I feel a little overwhelmed this week.  This will be short and sweet. 

I was asked today by a teacher/friend  to "take note of all the progress in your life or one area of your life. What you focus on expands" Since I have learned so much from her in such a short amount of time, I decided that I should make an actual list of things that I did, started, or became aware of in January. I limited myself by not being allowed to write my daily to do list but things to write only things that really mattered and made a difference and that I was proud of or that had been a goal for a long time.           I filled a page and a half.

What it does for me is gives me an appreciation for where I have been and what more I can do, and the knowing that it will be done.  Even the smallest of baby steps matter.

So this week rather than hit you with more on the adventures and thoughts of Tammy, I ask you to do the same that was asked me. Find progress and focus on it.