What is wrong with today, right now?

I really need to find a way to get things recorded while I am in my car or in the shower, I have come up with some great ideas to write about but by the time I am dried off the ideas are jumbled and do not sound as smooth as they did in my head.

After deciding not to return to the school I was working at, and focusing on my family and my business, I decided to grab a part time job, just a few hours a week like 10-15.  I have to say the search was a bit harder than I had imagined.  Places like pet stores want people to work 30 hour shifts for 8 hours a day.  I didn't want that.  I wanted a few hours a day a few days a week, because my main concern is my business. 

I did notice however that living my dream added some challenges.  The most concerning to me, was not money,  I have grown to have a very different relationship with money.  Rather than having it and wanting more, or not having it and wanting more, I have learned to appreciate each penny I have, which is tough as I used to throw them away regularly while cleaning. What challenged me most was not wearing sweat pants.  Working from home allows me to sit in sweatpants 24/7.  Although they are nice and not ratty and some are yoga pants.  I missed getting dressed in real clothes.  Comfort is a great things.  Love my comfortable pants, but there is something to be said for getting up and putting on nice clothes doing your hair and going somewhere. Even  if the minute you return home you change back into your comfortable clothes. 

It could be argued that I could easily do that to do a Reiki treatment, and sometimes I did, but I decided I needed something more regular.

The other challenge was sleeping, I have never been a great night sleeper and do get much of my better rest in the morning, but I was starting to feel like time is being wasted sleeping. If I could use that same block of time and make money, it could be beneficial.  Also I have the tendency to become quite the hermit, and be very happy that way, but in order to network and thrive on many levels, I decided I might need to leave the house. 

I still find it funny that I have to come up with all these reasons to get a part-time job, almost as funny as when I went on my pet store interview and they wanted 8 hours a day 3 or 4 days a week! I was appalled. Nothing was as funny to me as saying to my husband "I am sorry I just cannot work an 8 hour shift"  I know I stunned him as he was quiet and he is never quiet, even when he should stop talking his thoughts fly out, so silence was hysterical to me! 

Sooo the decision was made I was going to look for some real part time work. That I could do effortlessly as my ankle is still being a pest (I know I have more to learn from it before it goes back to normal)  I got a call the other day from a place I had submitted a resume to a while back.  It is an Admin position for 12 hours a week for a state/town governed and regulated agency.  I interviewed on Wednesday and start next Wednesday.  I am excited.  It is just what I wanted, there is not room or expectancy for advancement and I may never see a raise but I will be learning something new and utilize ALL of my skills, and have the potential to help people who really need and want to be helped.  The hours are perfect and will still allow for beach days in the summer as well as clients and classes I will be teaching. 

So on to why I am really writing.  This time when I discussed the job with my husband, he made some comments about moving up, getting more hours, posting to bigger positions.  It really made me think.

When I worked in corporate it was all about goals and moving forward and getting higher etc.  I drove many a boss nuts with my desire to not set goals and just be where I was.  I lost that battle usually and was always moved up with responsibility or job level, that I always fulfilled and then some. They felt that I needed to be pushed that I was being lazy, same things I used to hear in High School. 

To my dismay my goal of just being there was not working.  I think that is why my goal to leave that company actually my long term goal of "retiring in 5 years" only took 4 or less.  Sometimes moving up the corporate ladder just isn't what people want no matter how good they are at it.  I know crazy huh?  Walking away from what could have turned into an even bigger role and even more money.  LOL.  I see why my husband often shakes his head at me, but it was not my dream. 

Anyway sometimes being where I am and enjoying it is better. 

I can recall a few major relationships in my life that I missed out on because I was more focused on the next 10 steps rather than enjoying the step I was on.  Even when my kids were small I was always looking to the next development and not really enjoying the one they were at for very long. I can honestly say, I  do that differently now, I can even appreciate days like today when I need to take an extended time out from their bickering and other foolishness. 

soo interested in moving quickly ahead to the next thing that may or may not be there? or even worse another thing I have been doing, sitting in your head remembering things that you have learned to accept but still try and tear apart for a lesson as to why it occurred.  Yes what is wrong with today, right now?

As I sit here in silence (well besides my squawking parrot) and hear nothing else but my kids in their rooms busing themselves until mom has chilled out, and I have to say nothing.  To me nothing is wrong with today and right now and I am blessed to be at the point where I can just sit her silently and enjoy it. 

What makes me laugh even more is when asked about my thoughts of the job just being what it is, with few benefits in the way of vacations etc, and really no opportunity for moving up, but the overall importance of the position and her desire to train someone who is honest and will really stay.  I told the sweatpants story.

I love just being me!