Friday, April 22, 2011

What is wrong with today, right now?

I really need to find a way to get things recorded while I am in my car or in the shower, I have come up with some great ideas to write about but by the time I am dried off the ideas are jumbled and do not sound as smooth as they did in my head.

After deciding not to return to the school I was working at, and focusing on my family and my business, I decided to grab a part time job, just a few hours a week like 10-15.  I have to say the search was a bit harder than I had imagined.  Places like pet stores want people to work 30 hour shifts for 8 hours a day.  I didn't want that.  I wanted a few hours a day a few days a week, because my main concern is my business. 

I did notice however that living my dream added some challenges.  The most concerning to me, was not money,  I have grown to have a very different relationship with money.  Rather than having it and wanting more, or not having it and wanting more, I have learned to appreciate each penny I have, which is tough as I used to throw them away regularly while cleaning. What challenged me most was not wearing sweat pants.  Working from home allows me to sit in sweatpants 24/7.  Although they are nice and not ratty and some are yoga pants.  I missed getting dressed in real clothes.  Comfort is a great things.  Love my comfortable pants, but there is something to be said for getting up and putting on nice clothes doing your hair and going somewhere. Even  if the minute you return home you change back into your comfortable clothes. 

It could be argued that I could easily do that to do a Reiki treatment, and sometimes I did, but I decided I needed something more regular.

The other challenge was sleeping, I have never been a great night sleeper and do get much of my better rest in the morning, but I was starting to feel like time is being wasted sleeping. If I could use that same block of time and make money, it could be beneficial.  Also I have the tendency to become quite the hermit, and be very happy that way, but in order to network and thrive on many levels, I decided I might need to leave the house. 

I still find it funny that I have to come up with all these reasons to get a part-time job, almost as funny as when I went on my pet store interview and they wanted 8 hours a day 3 or 4 days a week! I was appalled. Nothing was as funny to me as saying to my husband "I am sorry I just cannot work an 8 hour shift"  I know I stunned him as he was quiet and he is never quiet, even when he should stop talking his thoughts fly out, so silence was hysterical to me! 

Sooo the decision was made I was going to look for some real part time work. That I could do effortlessly as my ankle is still being a pest (I know I have more to learn from it before it goes back to normal)  I got a call the other day from a place I had submitted a resume to a while back.  It is an Admin position for 12 hours a week for a state/town governed and regulated agency.  I interviewed on Wednesday and start next Wednesday.  I am excited.  It is just what I wanted, there is not room or expectancy for advancement and I may never see a raise but I will be learning something new and utilize ALL of my skills, and have the potential to help people who really need and want to be helped.  The hours are perfect and will still allow for beach days in the summer as well as clients and classes I will be teaching. 

So on to why I am really writing.  This time when I discussed the job with my husband, he made some comments about moving up, getting more hours, posting to bigger positions.  It really made me think.

When I worked in corporate it was all about goals and moving forward and getting higher etc.  I drove many a boss nuts with my desire to not set goals and just be where I was.  I lost that battle usually and was always moved up with responsibility or job level, that I always fulfilled and then some. They felt that I needed to be pushed that I was being lazy, same things I used to hear in High School. 

To my dismay my goal of just being there was not working.  I think that is why my goal to leave that company actually my long term goal of "retiring in 5 years" only took 4 or less.  Sometimes moving up the corporate ladder just isn't what people want no matter how good they are at it.  I know crazy huh?  Walking away from what could have turned into an even bigger role and even more money.  LOL.  I see why my husband often shakes his head at me, but it was not my dream. 

Anyway sometimes being where I am and enjoying it is better. 

I can recall a few major relationships in my life that I missed out on because I was more focused on the next 10 steps rather than enjoying the step I was on.  Even when my kids were small I was always looking to the next development and not really enjoying the one they were at for very long. I can honestly say, I  do that differently now, I can even appreciate days like today when I need to take an extended time out from their bickering and other foolishness. 

soo interested in moving quickly ahead to the next thing that may or may not be there? or even worse another thing I have been doing, sitting in your head remembering things that you have learned to accept but still try and tear apart for a lesson as to why it occurred.  Yes what is wrong with today, right now?

As I sit here in silence (well besides my squawking parrot) and hear nothing else but my kids in their rooms busing themselves until mom has chilled out, and I have to say nothing.  To me nothing is wrong with today and right now and I am blessed to be at the point where I can just sit her silently and enjoy it. 

What makes me laugh even more is when asked about my thoughts of the job just being what it is, with few benefits in the way of vacations etc, and really no opportunity for moving up, but the overall importance of the position and her desire to train someone who is honest and will really stay.  I told the sweatpants story.

I love just being me!

Sunday, April 10, 2011

The Naked Reiki Master

HA!  Got your attention didn't I!?!?!  Now let me explain what this is all about. 

When I was in my 20's, I used to want to write a book called a look (or was it a walk) inside my mind. (Funny I cannot remember.)  It was going to be a collection of all of the poetry I had written.

I found as I shared them with people, they couldn't really grasp what I was saying.  I have an interesting past full of losses, disappointments, and many overshadowed blessings, that at 24, not many  had been through.  Heck some of the people that I shared with who were in their 50's hadn't been through it.  So I decided to put it aside.  I decided people were not ready for that mind.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what I can do to express my Energy Sessions in one word, that people can understand and be interested in.  I came up with "The Naked Reiki Master" It made me laugh thinking about the calls I would receive asking about my services. 

Really as I started to think about it more, how what people like most about me and what I like most about me, is that I am me.

Funny as I was having these thoughts I was putting on my makeup (which as many know, beyond eyeliner I really do not like).  I am always happy when I am me, it is when I am trying not to be me that I become unhappy, angry, or frustrated and stuck.  I have been reminded lately of a few different times where I was trying to be something I wasn't, and they are the most trying and hurtful and biggest learning experiences in my life. I can honestly say I am still learning the lessons now.  Some 15 plus years later. 

I am just me, and I will always just be me and if me gains a few pounds or gets a big huge zit, I am still me and the me is the same one I put to bed at night and the same one that gets up in the morning.  No facades or need to be anyone else except me. No need for botox or liposuction, not even the tummy tuck I have often thought about. For now I feel it is really important just to be me.

I share this today and wonder, maybe it is the same for you.  As I stood there staring at myself in the mirror today, I noticed my cute little dimple is looking more like a wrinkle.  I noticed it a week ago and it bothered me, now I see it differently as it is a part of me, and I am beautiful and so are you. 

I thought maybe the time is now that a walk inside the mind of Tammy can really help people.  I thought that maybe the time is now to become vulnerable and just put myself out there as I am, and do what it is that I do and just continue being me.

So I posted the picture above and a couple others on my FB page that my daughter took of me this sunny Sunday morning, as is, as a reminder to me that I am me and who better to be.

Bright Blessings to you all!

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Sometimes my blog will spread my love of others.....

I am just beginning to write a testimonial on a series of classes I have taken recently with Asha Ramakrishna of  I want to try and express what her classes have given me and will continue to give me as they evolve.  While doing this I had the shove to share this information with all of my FB pals, as I know there are many of you out there who can benefit from what she has to say.  
Before I begin I have to say: I do not stand up and shout about too many of the teachers,  I have had, as I am a tough critic, there are probably only 6 of them that I will stand behind and Asha has been added to that list. She is kind, caring, professional, authentic, and beautiful.   I will also say without doubt that the minute you meet her you will see the light she is here to share with us all.  I just love her!
As women, I think we can all relate to times when we have tried to compare ourselves to someone else, think we are not good enough, that our way is not best, have put parts of us away to please others, or need permission to be ourselves.
I know a lot of people I talk to value and envy the ability they see others have in which they are able to be themselves and stand by their beliefs.  Asha teaches what she was given as the Sacred Chalice Principles. Each one of the seven principles stands alone strongly and yet stands as strongly as part of the group.
She has taught me that in a sisterhood there is no room for competition or comparing ourselves to other people. There are enough teachers and students for everyone and there does not have to be that masculine beat down of other people to get who is right for us. This can translate into so many areas in our lives. 
Regardless of the situation we have all been in conversations with others of why we are better than another woman in business or relationships, or motherhood. There always seems to be times when we are trying to compare ourselves to someone else or to an ideal we hold of someone else, while ignoring ourselves and not paying respect to who we are, believing in who we are, and knowing that we are enough. 
We often sit in a state of panic and worry in relation to others and lose our grasp on what role the divine feminine energy plays in our life.
The Sacred Chalice Principles are amazing,freeing, and gratifying. They bring peace and flexibility to what is described as very masculine qualities that we all have.  
The principles truly bring softness to the masculine energy many of us portray in life, whether it be as a single mother or a business woman. 
We do not need to talk about, cut down, or bring down other women that we perceive as a threat to us. There is enough work, enough love, enough men, and enough energy for us all. 
We do not have to cut people out as a result of fear.  I am not saying bad things do not happen but I am encouraging and challenging you to stop the role you may play in them.
If you are willing to take a chance and learn something about yourself, your nature, and what you can do to bring more feminine energy into your life, then Asha is truly a teacher for you.
She offers classes in Somerville, retreats all over Massachusetts, as  well as teleclasses. 
To learn more about The Sacred Chalice Prinicples here

Friday, April 1, 2011

Somedays I still wake up in awe

I don't always know what time it is, or what day it is, but man, am I happy!

I know people often hear me talk about Human Design and how great it is, but I am not sure if I ever clearly articulate what it is, what is does, or what you can do with it. 

I can say without a doubt that it changes lives, it brings a deeper awareness and understanding of your self and those around you, if you let it, it will put an arm around you like a comforting guide and truly  show you the way. 

It is a better personality tool than anything I have read about or learned of in school.  It is truly a teacher with an unlimited amount of information. 

I first heard of Human Design in January 2008, at the time I could not afford a full reading or take a class, but I knew I would see it again.  In November of 2009 I did, and I was able to take the Specialist Training Course as well as many others and with each class, I changed and grew and released things that no longer served me. 

I have been able to make huge decisions about my career and family life that I may have never had the courage to do before. Yet here I am and all I want to do is share it. 

I want to focus more on what it will do for you.  If you are feeling lost or tired or like you are never meeting the goals you put in place for yourself, a Human Design reading/report will bring an understanding of why. 

Since I began this journey I have seen hundreds of charts and I can say without one bit of doubt in my mind that:
If you feel you are always the doer and others just sit there and instruct, it will explain why.

If you feel you are never happy no matter where you move to or who you are with, it can explain why. 

If you have ever started a diet or a self help program and had no doubt that you could do it and 4 days later you quit, it can explain why. 

If you talk but never feel heard, it will explain why.

If you keep hitting the same challenges with your kids or other important relationships, it will explain why. 

I could go on and on with scenarios, but I won't. Please note that I do not make these statements lightly and I would NEVER say something would give you explanations if it could not.  I stand behind Human Design 100% in what it is capable of teaching us. 

I know this blog post may seem like a commercial and I am sorry for that, but it is honestly just me, being me and sharing with you the most amazing, simple, complex, beautiful system I have ever met!   I seriously wish I could go door to door with my lap top and show people.  Since I cannot, I can only offer the free chart with a birdseye summary of what Human Design is and let the universe take care of the rest. 

All I need from you is your birth date/location and time - if you have it.  Email me at and I will do the rest.  I promise you, you will not regret it. 

Stay tuned for specials that will only be posted on my Facebook page -  Tammy Murray Cousins Holistic Healing and Coaching   and don't forget to join my mailing list.