Angel writing, spirit guide writing, automatic writing, writing from my higher self.....not really sure what I do, but I know I had not done it for a long time, the other night I participated in an Angel Writing Demonstration. It felt great, like home. I did notice I can only do it when I hold a pen, I cannot type it, I can't really say it, I write it.  I cannot remember exactly what the question, I believe we chose a word for a list of 3.  I was drawn to inspiration, I took a deep breathe and here is what I got.  I thought I would share it, since I am working on being vulnerable and all. 



Inspiration comes from all around, from a breeze, while you look at your sleeping child, or the connection with a new friend.
Even in the middle of worldly interruptions you can find inspiration. 
Rest, breathe, know that things, that are not perfect are still O.K. There is more than enough time to complete your work.
 Believe in what you are doing and where you are going and nothing can stand in your way.
Find a daily inspiration and work with it. Use it to assist with your focus and keeping your doubts and fears at bay you can do this, you will do this, you are doing this.
Look Listen Learn do, it  is all open to you, you do not have to do and say as others. You are you, no one else.
Believe as you are, strong enough to move mountains  You are who you are, you are there, we are with you through time and space, you feel loved.
Listen, breathe, believe, rest, and be (my favorite part)  Listen.   There is more for you here, a decision a place a tool, a word, listen.
Be true, be you, be success, just be You are loved 
(this part was just there)  Music listen love.


Well it came from somewhere.  I personally love it.  I do not really speak this way. I am grateful for wherever it came from BUT If it was just me I rock! 

Thank you for reading 

Love what is

I started taking another Human Design class, this one is based on the 64 Hexagrams of the I-Ching and the sun moving through each Hexagram through the year. I am not going to write about this every week, but today it seems fitting and my other attempts at posting were a bit rant like and some were just mean.  I am not perfect either and I am sure one day I will air some sort of laundry in this blog, but not today.  :)

Without getting too far into it, each Hexagram will have the I-Ching meaning and a Human Design meaning, they are always similar meanings.

The theme behind this weeks Hexagram is "Love what is".  How often do we truly appreciate what is, and not think of what we still want or what we do not have.   When we do not look at now and what is and what we have and be OK with that, we build up resistance that makes it impossible to grow the way we want to. 

I tried it this week and you know what, I felt the shifts in my energy, I became lighter in certain areas and that release made room for some break through that are necessary for me to move forward. 

The week has not been perfect and some of the energies were hard to release and some of the thoughts around them have made me a tad moody here and there, but I appreciate the process and it has brought me clarity and a sense of peace. 

I even have a good idea about what my first teleclass will be and the funny thing is it is totally not what I was thinking of doing!

That is my other lesson.  To create you need to be focused and at times deliberate, but do not be so set in your goal that you cannot bend to what others need or directions you didn't know you had the opportunity to go. 

That is all I can think of to write this week and that is just fine. 

Love to all!

Today I was sitting at physical therapy with my feet in the whirlpool, contemplating the fact that it really doesn’t whirl at all.  Perhaps it is not called a whirlpool, sometimes I can create a small whirlpool by how I position my foot near the jet, but for the most part there is no whirl.

Change

As I stared the bubbles and the flow of water I began to think about change.  When I quit drinking I went to Al-anon  for a bit and I had a book I think it’s title was  “Courage to Change”  I thought maybe I could do a teleclass or discussion group on change and what it takes to change. The book as I remember was full of stories and daily affirmations, that is not what I wanted but similarly, my goal would be to make change less scary.  Yes scary I had decided that people find change scary and these people usually believe they do not have courage, or certainly not the courage to change. 

At that time, my ear started ringing, I remember that because it startled me and I realized how odd I must have looked hunched over staring at the water, my thoughts quickly shifted to: “do you think I could stand in this small tub?” and “They must use this just for feet.”

Awareness

The courage to gain awareness.  I know that sounds strange, but if you do not need courage to become aware, why aren’t we all aware? 

I am not referring to common awareness such as: “I am aware that I have a keen sense of smell today” but awareness as in “my actions are mine and mine alone” or  “my spouse seems upset, rather than take it personally, how can I help”  or “how can I be a better role model for my kids in day to day life” and my favorite “Oh I just sounded awfully bitchy, how can I make that better rather than make it grow”.  

Awareness. 

Sometimes I think if we brought awareness to a situation, rather than our ego, we would be a lot happier.

Becoming aware is easy to start, just pay attention to your words, actions, and reactions. It may be easier to   start with one.  This week I am going to focus on my reactions. What will you chose?

Old thoughts

Happy New Year everyone!   I was sitting here thinking "Gee you are being abnormally quiet these days" I decided that I would pull up one of my drafts and post it, regardless of what it was.  So here you go. 

I used to think I could save the world and everyone in it.  Whenever someone did not respond positively to that I would beat myself up.  I do not do that anymore.  A few years ago I began to learn how to detach from others lovingly, I am still not a pro and sometimes I will just shut the offenders out, but I can admit I have faults and I am working on it. 

I finally understand that I cannot save the world, I can only help those who wish to be helped and teach those who wish to learn.

If I waste energy being upset about someone's behavior, I take energy away from me. 

If I sit and stew or talk negatively about someone, I damage myself, no one else but me.

What can I do, I can forgive the person that hurts me or my family and take the occurrence and use it as a teaching moment for myself or my children at a later time.  I can chose to not feed into someones weaknesses and focus on my own strengths.

I can remember that it is just energy and not personal and teach that to those effected by the other persons behavior.

You know what?  So can you. 

Here is to hoping 2011 is everything people are saying it will be, a year or shifting and change to better us all!  

Couldn't decide what to write about next.  I have about 8 saved partially written posts, all of which at some point or another seemed unfit to post here. 

I was standing just outside of a drum circle today, wondering why I never have the balls to take a seat and play, when it hit me.  Write about this.......

What is this you ask?  A Respite Camp - for a local Hospice-  3 hours of pure positive energy and love. 

I remember receiving the email telling me about the camp and asking if I would like to volunteer my services for it.  At first I remember thinking it was not something I was good enough to participate in.  After a couple of weeks and some clearing of old beliefs, I decided to tell them I would love to participate.

When they came back and said they would like me to do card readings I was shocked and thrilled. As you are aware I recently came out of the card reading closet (sort of) and I was thinking they would want Reiki.  I trusted that if the cards were what they wanted then it was meant to be and I would just go with it. Just in case though I bought little angel tokens to give out, that way if I sucked at least they had something tangible to walk away with.  I am truly awesome at doubting myself! 

About a month passed and my confidence grew, until Sunday night.  I was a little releved that the event for Monday was canceled, I cannot lie about that, but the cancellation also let me feel disappointed and that disappointment recharged my desire to participate.

While listening to the drumming, I was noticing how eventually the sounds blended and sounded awesome. A child would pick up a tamborine or a clanker or a rain stick and the music was just fabulous.  Everyone there was either playing or participating by enjoying it. 

I realized I was standing with beautiful people. All giving of their time to bring some peace to families who really really needed it. 

One of the volunteers I spoke to works out of the hospital, it is her job to meet with family members of a patient and make their lives a little normal and fun, not just a calendar of appointments and child care.  I started to think about that a lot.  I started to think about what the kids must feel like when a sick sibling is getting all the attention and how it might make them feel.  Then I looked around at all of their smiling faces and was really touched.  I was honored to be there, to be a part of it. 

The turn out was not huge at first so I hung out with the art therapist and helped her prep and work with a couple of kids.  I also talked with other volunteers and listen to a wonderful story teller and met a blind rescue dog. 
 
I was fine just being there, whether or not anyone was interested in a reading or a Reiki session. 

By the end of the time, I had done 2 readings and will be returning another day this week to do a couple more.

Both clients had never had a reading and wanted information about what it was all about.  They also asked for information on Reiki.  I realized as I was talking that I was doing just what I dreamed I would be doing last January. It was quite a day.

I am honored to have been a part of the camp and am grateful for being trusted by the 2 people I read for their strength is an inspiration. 

I am thankful for the opportunity to participate in things like this.
I am thankful for my broken ankle which slowed me down enough to learn things I may not have otherwise. 
I am thankful for my families health. 

Among other things I am having trouble articulating, something I learned today is: 

When you treat a bubble like a bubble it is not trouble at all it is just a bubble. It is when you treat it like it is something else that the trouble begins (Jay O'Callahan)



OK now to just press the publish post button. 

Here we go.....

Staring at a blank word document has to be one of the scariest things I have encountered lately.  I used to be a constant flow of words, I remember in the early 90’s I had a Brother Word Processor I would write for days on end about anything that crossed my mind.  How I wish those disks were somehow compatible or transferable to Word.  The last time I checked they were not.  Twice I have started the printing of my old files and then had to give up for one reason or another, someday I will complete that. 

I think it was easy to write back then, because no one ever saw what I was writing, unless I wanted them to.  Now as I write there is a possibility for many people to see my words; criticize them.

I have to trust that my meaning and purpose are written well received the way I have intended. I have to trust that what I write will create an interest in what I am doing. 

Trust is a word I have been struggling with in the last year.  I have lost trust in so many things, and have gained trust in things that seem so much bigger than myself.  I still have a couple real big things to let go of in order to trust in people, some are just not what they appear to be, but over all I have made a conscious effort to trust.  

Along with trust, I have become wiser about worry.  I am not worrying so much, I believe it is because I trust that what will be will be and I do my best each day.  My best is all I can do and so why worry.  I notice my lack of worry at times and as I sit in that space I laugh at how I used to fill it with worry.  Sometimes I think for a quick moment that my lack of worry will result in my missing or forgetting something, I then realize that worry is trying to get back into my life and let it go.

How did I get to this place, this place of peace, trust, and no worry?  It has been a journey, one I have not always loved, but wanted, one that is not over but traveled enough to see some results.   

It has been a journey started due to loss and continued on due to gain.  It is a journey in which I will continue to trust and to not worry, to live in peace and pass on as much of that as I can to others.