One of the Key things that Human Design teaches is - It is not personal. How others act, what they do or say, never has anything to do with you.
As humans we have been conditioned to try and make it about us, but it isn't.
I am often asked for examples and I never share them because I feel I sound like I am attached to it, and I am not. I know now people think I am attached to it only becasue they are and they project it on me.
I will tell you a true story. I recently got back in touch with a friend of an ex boyfriend. I should say we have started talking a lot more he friended me on facebook years ago. Anyway....he let me know about the passing of someones mom. She and I were really close back then, until we weren't and it was under pretty emotional circumstances. I do not recall if what she did was intentional or I misunderstood but it was what it was. It hurt me.
Me being me, thinks a lot about how I would want to be treated in a situation, I packed up the past and tossed it and reached out. We had a great time catching up and were planning to get together. The guy friend asked me to pass on a message. To me it was an easy nice message. Condolences, thinking of you .
She never responded and blocked me. At least I think she did, I am not sure I have never been blocked before (that I have noticed.....irrelevant to the story), but her response was odd. I know her and him dated over 20 years ago....anyway......
I don't usually throw stuff like this out there, I try not to talk about a lot anymore, I would rather spend my time processing it and making sure I am doing what is right for me.
I do share these types of things if I think it can teach others.
Years ago I would have wondered what I did or thought I was unworthy of friendship. NOW I understand it is her thing, it is not mine. It has nothing to do with me, perhaps there is more history between the two, perhaps she lost her internet connection. perhaps she doesn't like me, perhaps her fingers fell off..... I don't know, I won't know so I don't need to care. I do not feel the need to prove myself or explain. It has taken a really really long time to feel this way. I choose no drama.
I am a bit saddened as we were once pretty close, but as with other things that come and go, they come and go.
Anyone else now singing Karma Chameleon?
It has taken me a really really long time to release a lot from my mid-twenties. It is funny the stuff we allow ourselves to carry around. It feels weird to actually let a lot of it go.
It is just like now, as I move on from people, situations, or conversations. I don't hate the people, the people are not bad, they are just not a good fit for me. It isn't that the conversations aren't entertaining just not where I need to spend my energy right now. It doesn't mean I do not care, or I am not here to support in any way I can. I just have decided that those situations or people are not right for me in that moment, it is not their fault, tomorrow I may want to spend my energy there.
So I share all of this because I know a lot of people who are dealing with what someone else has done or said recently or that they recently learned of. Although it is effecting their immediate situation, I hope that not one of them blames themselves for whatever it was the other did or said, because it wasn't about them at all. I hope none of you carry it around for 18 years or look back and question yourselves, because what you are doing is right for you in this moment, and it will all be OK.
Please remember it is not personal.
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