Before I start my rant I want to mention that prior to learning Human Design and learning from a long time parenting coach, I used to think how my children behaved or were as people in the world was a reflection on me. That how my child did in school was a reflection of my ability to parent.
I now realize that my children, and themselves, not an extension of me, they are both individual energetic beings with their own journeys. I parent them both the same and have gotten two different results. They are both still pre-teens but I can see differences in their confidence, motivation, and interests. etc.
Today I had an incident in which a school administrator blew off a meeting with me for a list of reasons and as I questioned each one it was finalized that he felt since my child was sick this week I would not make the previously scheduled meeting. This fired me up. My son being ill and my ability to make a meeting are related how? If there is such a relation why was I not called? ......
I got home to see a post about a friend who was offended by a T.V interview, the guy in the interview blamed parents for their kids having ADHD for how quickly they pick them up and place them in a bathtub.
A parent is not at fault for a child's ADHD, a parent cannot in all instances keep their child home and teach them academically and make sure they get enough exercise and what they need and also monitor their stimulation and keep children in bubbles. I mean we could and some so but is it effective.
Rather than finger point or come up with administrative reasons or budget constraints on why things happen and why things are not done for them, lets try to focus on what the kids need to be successful.
Why aren't we focused on each child individually and see what they need to succeed. Why spend money on interviews and books showcasing blowhards and their ridiculous reasons for mental abnormalities.Let look at the conditions these kids suffer from and see what is at the core.
I will use me as an example, I am best focused when I am multitasking, this could be doing 2 things at once or having back ground noise while I am working. When I do not have those, I struggle to concentrate. I love interruptions. I have another family member who needs quiet to concentrate. There are energetic reasons for this.
We as parents are here to guide and keep safe not to make clones of ourselves. I have a daughter who need to be exhausted to go to sleep, she needs to keep busy get outside, she needs exercise. She spends 6 hours in school and an little more than 1 hour on a bus per day. I think she gets 20 minutes for recess and gym class once a week. I find when we go out after school or she rides or cares for her animals she is much easier to deal with.
My son is very very sensitive to energy and his surroundings. He takes things very literally and does not like to be accused of things he is not or grouped with others. He resists group activities etc. Since he was small I tired to get him involved in every activity I could think of, he was never great at them (nor would I be if I was forced to do it) and he didn't like it. I remember feeling like a failure and wondering how others would look at him and at me. I am now settled and strong in the fact that my son is creative he likes to create things, movies, figures, drawing, and games. He would rather create than play hockey and that is fine. It has been hard to find people with similar interests but they are out there and like anything else they will find him. I did what I could, I give him options he chooses what he likes and what he doesn't.
I guess I wonder how well we know our kids and how often are we placing our expectations or our failures on them to live differently.
I think about how much my son has endured mentally in his almost 12 years of life and the fact that his brain has not even gotten bumpy yet. Whenever I am frustrated I think of his big soft brain still developing in his head and it gives me a different perspective.
I could babble all day on this so I will stop here.
Blessings on your parenting journey!!
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